It’s About Trusting
It’s about trusting yourself first. Trust has been a commodity that has been so poorly abused that most people have a hard time giving it. That trust is especially hard to give to the people we most want to give it to. Sadly, the people we love suffer the most from our difficulty in trusting. Here’s the thing every wound heals eventually but it leaves behind the scar as a reminder and every time you see that scar you remember the pain. Unfortunately we cling to the remembered pain and forget to recognize that wound no longer hurts. Trusting means letting go of that remembered pain and instead using that scar as a reminder to be cautious. Cautious does not mean being afraid. it means be vigilant but unafraid.
If trusting is hard for you take this message as it is time to walk forward without fear, although your steps are hesitant keep moving forward. Open your heart and your spirit to second chances, but let that second chance be for you! opening your heart again after heartbreak is for for you first and foremost. Rebuilding trust within yourself helps you rebuild trust in other people.
Where do we go from here?
After some time to think further on the issue of trust, I realized trust is less about the other people or things. It’s about the trust we have in ourselves, or the lack of trust we have in ourselves. Sometimes there is this internal dialog where we question if something can be trusted, or someone. The reality is, these questions and voices we hear internally signify a lack of trust in ourselves. Somewhere in our past experiences we have suffered disappointment, pain, sadness, and fear. These experiences have taught us/me to hesitate and mistrust the things and people who show up in our lives. It is not an easy thing to have trust in things outside of our experience, so any changes you make have to be done consciously until it becomes as natural as breathing. The trust we have in small things eventually lead to trust in bigger things.
Are you asking “How do I trust myself?”, my advice? Don’t overthink it. Start with small things you know are easy wins. Start with lunch, what will you have? with that lunch have the expectation that it will taste great!. Start expecting the best, expect that every thing will work out. Stop using the past as a barometer to measure all of your experiences against. Trust that only good things will come out of every situation. Find the good in every outcome even when it hides behind sadness, anger, and pain. Move forward with compassion for yourself especially because we are most often harder on ourselves for our perceived mistakes.
One last question to ask yourself, When stop focusing on the negative, what’s left?